Interracial Relationship Advice: My boyfriend won’t let me visit him at home

Credit: SYM

Hi,

I’m a Senior in High School and graduate next summer. My white boyfriend (I’m black), who I’ve been dating for 7 months, has never invited me over to his house.

I’ve invited him over to mine a few times and he’s been at my house. Every time I ask him why I can’t visit him at home, he gives me a lame excuse. Do you think he has someone else? Could he be cheating? Or do you think he’s ashamed of me? I don’t know what to think anymore. 

Hi there,

What you just described sounds very fishy. I am guessing he hasn’t told his parents he’s dating a black girl. It’s not as if he could be married and is hiding you from his wife.

It doesn’t sound like you want to break up with him, however, things may not change much if he’s afraid of his parent’s opinion on his choice of girlfriend. You have two options (which I believe you already know), keep up your ‘fake’ relationship or break up with him.

If he truly loves you, there will be no need for games.

Good luck!

P.S. XXXXX used the Contact Us form. You can too should you need interracial relationship advice.

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9 thoughts on “Interracial Relationship Advice: My boyfriend won’t let me visit him at home

  1. I agree, she’s too young to invest emotionally in a relationship that will continue to give her grieve. It’s sad that our society is still driven by race. As a white woman married to a black man, I can say my husband and I love each other very much.

  2. My parents have never liked the idea of me dating outside my race, but I would never hide my girlfriends from them. If my parents can’t understand that I’m in love, that’s their problem. i love them but they can’t choose who I’m supposed to fall in love with. I guess at 16 or 17 it’s a different story.

  3. I could think of a dozen reasons a guy wouldn’t want to take someone home to their house before dumping it on race.
    Maybe his parents are against him dating anyone
    Maybe is is ashamed of something at his house
    Maybe he is scared it will change the relationship
    Maybe he thinks you will think get to seriously about him is he does
    Maybe his parents are weird or assholes
    Maybe he’s not that into you
    Maybe he has a bad relationship with his parents.
    Maybe you’ve asked so many times he doesn’t want to because you make it odd.
    Maybe his parents will complicate things like encouraging him to get married or to stay single until college is done or maybe they will want to have a serious discussion with you about sex and rubbers and how much easier it is to get the pill now a days…. Leave the poor guy alone and I’d you like him give him the benefit of the doubt.

  4. IMO…move on. No matter the reason, if you are not “take home material” in his eyes, then he does not cherish you enough and probably never will. Who wants a relationship like that. It’s not a two-way.

  5. Pingback: Interracial Relationship Advice: I Met A Guy Online But Things Got Weird | KolorBlind Mag

  6. I am a 72 year white man, married to an Asian lady with a lovely 24 year old daughter and very happy. Oh! Young love.It is so very, very painful at times. He may have a genuine reason for not taking you to meet his parents. I am a recovering alcoholic that has now been sober for more than 40 years. My children did not want to bring their friends home because they were ashamed of me and did not want their friends to find out. Or maybe his parents are prejudiced against colour. My parents were like that, so could understand it. I heard a quote once. People do not have attitudes, attitudes have people. If you don’t believe this, try and change one some time. Good luck with your boy friend anyway.

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