Multiracial Parenting Advice: My 18 Year-Old Son Prefers To Spend Christmas With His Girlfriend’s Family

multiracial children

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Hi there, my 18-year old son just informed me that he would prefer to spend Christmas with his girlfriend’s family. I’m really upset he doesn’t value us enough to spend it with us.

We’ve always spent the holidays together as a family so I don’t understand this new development.

By the way, he’s mixed race of Italian, Irish and Afro-Latino descent.

Should I tell him he can’t spend Christmas with his girlfriend’s family?

Hi there,

Although the holiday season is a time when family members get together to share and enjoy the special season together, it is to be expected that as your children grow older (get married) they’ll alternate holidays between their families and in-laws.

Unless you don’t know your son’s girlfriend’s family and feel comfortable enough with them,  I wouldn’t rule out the possibility of letting your son spend Christmas with her family especially since he’s 18 already.

Ask yourself the following questions, and if you’re comfortable with the answers, it wouldn’t hurt to let him spend Christmas away:

  • Has she visited your family before? Are you comfortable with your son being around her?
  • How does her family celebrate the holiday?
  • Would she or her parents mind her spending the New Years‘ celebration with your family?

This could serve as a way of preparing you for when he’s much older and married as he won’t be able to spend every single holiday with the family.

However, if you are expecting family from out-of-State, you could ask him to spend Christmas at home and spend the New Year’ celebration with his girlfriend and her family.

Happy KolorBlind parenting!

P.S. XXXX used the Contact Us form to ask her question. You can too should you need multiracial parenting advice.



5 thoughts on “Multiracial Parenting Advice: My 18 Year-Old Son Prefers To Spend Christmas With His Girlfriend’s Family

  1. How long have they been dating? Are they exclusive? Do you know her family? Do they live near-by? These are all questions I would ask myself before letting him spend Christmas or any holiday with her.

  2. I actually spent about a week with my girlfriend’s family when I was 191/2 years old. She was an Exchange Student here for a program and was originally from France. It was a nice trip except I didn’t speak French. It all depends on how serious they are about each other. I dated my French girlfriend for about two years and then we broke up ‘cos she was going back home.

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