Multiracial Parenting Advice: My 14 Year-Old Daughter Has A Boyfriend. I’m Not Comfortable With It!

multiracial children

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Hi there, I wanted to see if you could give me advice on what to do: my 14 year-old biracial daughter (black & white) recently told me she has a boyfriend.

She’s my only child and I don’t know how to handle this situation. I had her when I was 18 and I’m scared she’ll become a teen mom too. I really want a better future for her and think she should concentrate on school , go to college before she even thinks of having a boyfriend.

I almost choked when she told me she had a boyfriend and didn’t even know what to say other than “I’ll think about it”. A few of my friends are saying to tell her she can’t have a boyfriend yet so I’m conflicted.

How should I handle this situation? 

Hi XXXXXXX,

I can understand your concern as parent but you should be happy she confided in you. Most teens aren’t comfortable talking to their parents about boyfriends or sex. It must mean you’re a very good mom who has an ‘open door’ policy.

I suggest you have a mother/daughter talk and tell her your fear and concern. I think telling her she can’t have a boyfriend will result in her sneaking around and you don’t want that. Tell her you want to meet her boyfriend first and know who his parents are.

Set guidelines like:

  • They can only date if you or the other parent chaperone
  • He can only come over if you’re home and she can only go over to his house when his parents are home

The issue of sex might come up in your conversation too so be prepared.

Happy KolorBlind parenting!

P.S. XXXXXXX used the Contact Us form to ask her question. You can too should you need multiracial parenting advice.

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12 thoughts on “Multiracial Parenting Advice: My 14 Year-Old Daughter Has A Boyfriend. I’m Not Comfortable With It!

  1. This advice section of this website always gives great advice. I absolutely agree with this. Out of rebellion she could begin a journey into ‘forbidden territories’.

  2. Gosh those teenage years are so tough. I feel for every parent. I remember I though my parents were the worst when I was that age. You’re lucky she came to you about the boyfriend issue. It could have been worse.

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