I don’t know if you can give me advice, if you can it would be great. I lost my job about 16 months ago and the unemployment benefits I currently receive barely covers half of the bills. I used to be the breadwinner in th8e house with my 6-figure income. I have exhausted my savings and right now, my wife has had to take on extra hours at work to make up for the difference.
I was out job hunting about two weeks ago and came home to find my wife and best friend in bed. I wanted to die and hurt them both. The image of my wife being an African queen vanished that instance. My best friend ran out of the house and she said she was sorry but it was my fault.
How is it my fault? She says she’s been under a lot of stress lately and with me being out of a job she’s had to take on the role of the breadwinner. She said she is tired and doesn’t think our marriage is WORTH IT (her choice of words).
I have been feeling worthless since and want to commit suicide. I don’t know where to begin. I don’t know if I can go on.<img alt="" src="https://kolorblindmagazine.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/line.jpg" /
Wow! First off, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not commit suicide! She is not worth it and the situation you’re going through right now is not worth it. Even though you feel like all is lost and nothing is working, it’s all a temporary situation.
If your wife no longer loves you because you lost your job, then she never loved you to begin with. I understand that the situation is tough and she’s under stress from working more than she’s used to, but there is always a solution – though cheating is not one of them. Thank God, it was your best friend and not your brother.
Marriage is one of those journeys that requires a lot of work, dedication, determination and patience. It’s almost like riding a roller coaster. You have periods when you’re on top and happy and periods when you’re down and things aren’t working like you had hoped. Successful marriages aren’t just successful by chance, it takes a lot of work to make them work.
Perhaps if you and your wife downsized your current lifestyle things would be a lot easier to manage finance-wise. Do you have a hobby? Perhaps you can turn your hobby into a job and start making from there. Millions of people worldwide have turned a hobby into a paying job.
If you still love your wife and can get over the infidelity, I want you to seek help. If you’re not comfortable talking to a psychologist/relationships expert, I want you to consult a pastor or family member who might be able to help you and your wife through this difficult situation.
If you still feel anger and resentment towards your wife, it is best to leave the house for a while until things cool off. Nothing is lost yet, it’s just a set-back in your journey and remember nobody promised it was going to be easy.
I feel your pain and I want you to know you’re not the only one going through tough times. Tough people last, but tough times don’t! I want you to make that your mantra and recite that to yourself daily.
Suicide is NOT a solution to your problem. Please seek help! I hope things work out for you.
Good luck with everything!
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