Relationship Advice: 3 Tips For Dating A Divorced Man

Dating Divorced ManIn some ways, dating a divorced guy is no different than dating a guy who has never been married. However, there may be some crucial differences.

Here are three tips to keep in mind when dating a recently divorced man:

1. Marriage.

A divorced man may be more cautious or even opposed to the idea of getting married again. This may be especially true if he went through an ugly divorce, he was betrayed by his wife, or if the divorce cost him a lot of money.

Although women are often portrayed as the ones likely to carry emotional baggage from previous relationships, men do too. If this is the case with the guy you are interested in, the most important thing is to not push him. If the relationship develops in a positive direction, he may very well change his attitude towards marriage. However, if you are constantly bringing up the idea of marriage, trying to pressure him into marriage, or verbally bemoaning the fact you want to get married, you are likely going to push him away.

2. His ex.

The second thing you need to understand is that his ex-wife will always be part of his life story. He may still be in contact with his ex or he may have friends and family that are still in contact with her. Even if he has no contact with his ex, you may run into people when you are out together that bring up his ex or ask him questions about the divorce.

You cannot erase the fact he has an ex-wife. Getting irritated, mad, insecure or depressed every time her name comes up is going to ruin your relationship. Some men go through amicable divorces and still have a peaceful relationship with their ex-wives. Just because they couldn’t make a marriage work, doesn’t mean they are unable to make a friendship work.

You need to either be secure in yourself and your relationship or end things. Being jealous or demanding that he stop talking to her is not going to lead to a fulfilling relationship for the two of you.

3. His kids.

Finally, if he has kids with his ex, you need to show respect for the relationship they have as co-parents and the relationship his children have with their mother. Saying negative things about her to him, or in front of the children, is the worst possible thing you can do for your relationship, for the children and for the co-parenting situation.

Even if his ex-wife isn’t in the picture and he is the full-time parent, no child should have to hear dad’s new girlfriend bashing their mother. If the ex-wife is actively in the picture and this is a man you hope to get serious with, your best move is to find a working relationship with his ex. You don’t have to be friends, but you do need to respect the fact that you are both an active part of the children’s lives.

If his ex-wife is disrespectful towards you, you should avoid confrontations and do what is in the best interest of the children. Getting in verbal arguments with his ex will spell disaster for the situation. Meanwhile, controlling yourself while she appears out of control will show your man how much you care about him and his children.

Credit: Devon Brown/Brittany Wong

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Relationship Advice: 3 Tips For Dating A Divorced Man

  1. #2. is scary because I can’t imagine any woman being comfortable with her boyfriend being such good friends with his ex. I mean if they get along that well, why did they get divorced in the first place?

  2. I think these are all valid points to consider. Personally I wouldn’t be too comfortable with him being too buddy, buddy with his ex.

  3. Pingback: Interracial Relationship Advice: I Caught My Wife With My Best Friend! | KolorBlind Mag

  4. Pingback: Stress & Divorce: One Dad’s Story! | KolorBlind Mag

Have a comment? Enter it here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s