Men Initiate We Respond: Why Women Should Not Approach Men First

Have you ever wondered why a man has never initiated the first move?This article explains it and provides all the tips you need and more.

You are savvy, successful, confident and on the top of your game. You are used to going out and getting what you want, and your peers see you as a capable leader. So when it comes to seeing a man that you find attractive at work, you wonder to yourself “what’s wrong with approaching him first” or better yet, “what’s wrong with asking him out? It’s just coffee and after all, it is 2012!”

This fundamental fact remains: Men and women are different! In the realm of dating and mating men are born to respond to a challenge.

Men who are interested in us will pursue us. Men who find us attractive, initiate. When we take away a man’s need to pursue us, in the long run he loses interest. Period! Men initiate we respond: why women should not approach a man first.

This is not politically correct, but it is the truth. Sure, if you “just so happen” to have tickets to a hot concert or ball game, the man you are interested in may very well agree to go with you and have a great time, but after awhile, his interest will wane. You have given him no challenge. Going out with you was not his idea, it was yours and ultimately this “masculine energy” of initiating the relationship will backfire. It’s not worth it to enjoy the company of a man if the only reason you are out on a date is because you asked him and you had great seats to the Yankee’s game.

Have you ever observed a relationship where the man just seems to be “going along” taking up space and marking time? I have seen this and it’s not pretty. In these scenarios usually the woman initiated the relationship and always seems to be wanting more with the man being the reluctantly agreeable party, just floating along, not giving or investing a whole lot, just there. What typically happens is the woman is always insecure of his love and desire for her, and the man feeling pressed breaks up with her. I’ve seen these men “float along” with these women for years claiming that they are not ready to get married, it’s not a good time, etc. I have seen these men break up only to get married a short time later to the woman who he pursued and who provided him a challenge.

The Rule of the Dating Game is:

“We don’t talk to men first, ask them out, or ask them to Dance, etc.” The principle behind this rule is that the man must initiate. I hear what you’re saying. You’re saying to yourself, ” Well, he’s just shy” or you may think to yourself “I have to let him know that I am interested.” ”

I will concede that it is good form to have an “approachable vibe” *going on. No man is going to risk approaching you (no matter how physically attractive you are) if your countenance is sad, gloomy or angry. Remember, to keep it light and breezy! However, the most “shy” man, will risk asking you out IF HE IS INTERESTED.

Let me dispel one myth right now. There is no such thing as a “shy” man. Socially awkward…perhaps? Shy…no way!

In the mythical sense, men slay dragons. If he is too awkward to risk asking you out, he may not be the Alpha Male that you want and need to provide for and protect you. Don’t waste a lot of time thinking about why the cute guy in accounting or at the neighborhood Starbuck’s hasn’t asked you out yet. He may be involved with someone or not interested in women. Whatever the reason may be if he has not asked you out, he isn’t interested and keep it moving. He won’t get a chance to get to know such a wonderful, talented, woman – You!!

Written by Karen Robinson is a certified Rules Dating Coach in the Detroit, Michigan area; for more information about her and her services click here.


Source: IR Dating Coach


11 thoughts on “Men Initiate We Respond: Why Women Should Not Approach Men First

  1. I learnt a few things from this article. Thanks for sharing. I wish other websites wrote more educational articles like yours, so everyone would be able to learn something.

  2. I really enjoyed reading the post. I love your blog. Your articles are so simple to read and follow. Please keep up the excellent work. Thank you.

  3. Luckily for all of us, men are changing the rules and not approaching women. This means if she does not approach you,she is not interested so keep moving and she will not get the chance to meet YOU, since you are just as important.Sound familiar?

  4. Pingback: MR. CBB’s Weekly Blog Post Picks Sept 21,2012 « Canadian Budget Binder

  5. it would be very nice for women to approach us men for a change, and that would really make us much more confident.

  6. women advice for you:- if you like a guy and you want to talk to him, just smile at him when you both have eye contact, surely he will approach you.

  7. Man advice for men – If you like a young lady, and you want to talk to her, just smile at her when you both have eye contact, surely she will approach you!

  8. This article is clearly written by an insecure and timid woman who is afraid of taking chances and putting herself on the line.

    The point you’re trying to make is clear: if the man doesn’t initiate it’s his fault for not liking you because there is nothing wrong with the woman who is perfect and shouldn’t ever face rejection.

    Do you avoid applying to the job you want because there is a chance you might not get it? Grow up already. I’d hate to date woman like you anyhow.

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