The other day I was reading a blog post online about a black Hollywood couple. One of the commenters proceeded to say that she was happy to see a successful black couple in Hollywood. I too ‘am happy to see that. She further went on to say that she was happy “he” (the husband) didn’t end up marrying a white woman to upgrade himself. A practice she feels is so common among successful black Hollywood elites. Her comment only showed her own insecurity and low self-esteem. How can you view a certain race is superior to yours?
Her comment struck me (not in the right way) but it also echos some of the opinions of the public over the years. It the eyes of the world if you are dating or are in a relationship with someone outside your race or ethnicity, you are indirectly denying your race. Not only that, you are also trying to upgrade your status…The ‘upgrade’ part is what I still do not understand. My understanding of ‘upgrading’ one’s status has always been hard work and perseverance that leads to success and fame. This is accompanied by a certain lifestyle only an elite group of people are entitled to.
I have never understood the concept of ‘upgrading’ based on a relationship with another race, unless you are of one race and are in a relationship with someone of another race who happens to be a billionaire (billionairess). Being in an interrace or interethnic relationship does not guarantee you any special privileges in life. If anything, the company, name or net worth will guarantee you all that. If you are attempting to move into a certain neighborhood that is predominantly black, white, hispanic, asian or other race/ethnic group they are not going to treat you any different simply because your partner is of another race.
Why is the general mindset still living in the ‘slavery era’ where if you are favored by the ‘master’ your workload is reduced and you enjoy privileges of working indoors as opposed to working hard in the field? If I applied for a job with a specific company, the fact that I’m in a relationship with a Caucasian man will not get me the job. If I am extended recognition of any sort, it would have to be based on the name of the family.
Granted, there will always be a few bad apples who will try to contaminate the good ones by having ulterior motives, but we shouldn’t generalize. Any relationship that is founded on lies will not thrive!
Interracial Couples examined
I found this controversial article online and thought I’d share it. I don’t agree with it as it doesn’t make sense to stereotype interracial relationships simply because a few men have a hidden motive behind their reason for dating outside their race. But this article makes for a great debate.
It might sound like a question coming out of the color blue, but after watching a video on “Why black men like white women,” that is quickly going viral, the question must be asked. Do all interracial couples have deadly narcissistic traits?
Narcissism as described on mentalhealth.com, is a “Personality disorder characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, need for admiration, extreme self-involvement, and lack of empathy for others. Individuals with this disorder are usually arrogantly self-assured and confident. They expect to be noticed as superior…”
Why Black Guys like White Girls In the video above, a black man and his white girlfriend attempt to explain the real reason why black men choose white women over black women. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a preference in a partner, what is puzzling is the amount of hate being thrown at black women, who obviously has no part in their relationship.
Listed below are the seven deadly sins of narcissism. After reading them and watching the video, you decide: Are their “attitudes” narcissistic? Then answer the question: Do all interaccial couples feel this way?
- Shamelessness: Shame is the feeling that lurks beneath all unhealthy narcissism, and the inability to process shame in healthy ways.
- Magical thinking: Narcissists see themselves as perfect, using distortion and illusion known as magical thinking. They also use projection to dump shame onto others.
- Arrogance: A narcissist who is feeling deflated may re-inflate by diminishing, debasing, or degrading somebody else.
- Envy: A narcissist may secure a sense of superiority in the face of another person’s ability by using contempt to minimize the other person.
- Entitlement: Narcissists hold unreasonable expectations of particularly favorable treatment and automatic compliance because they consider themselves special. Failure to comply is considered an attack on their superiority, and the perpetrator is considered an “awkward” or “difficult” person. Defiance of their will is a narcissistic injury that can trigger narcissistic rage.
- Exploitation: Can take many forms but always involves the exploitation of others without regard for their feelings or interests. Often the other is in a subservient position where resistance would be difficult or even impossible. Sometimes the subservience is not so much real as assumed.
- Bad boundaries: Narcissists do not recognize that they have boundaries and that others are separate and are not extensions of themselves. Others either exist to meet their needs or may as well not exist at all. Those who provide narcissistic supply to the narcissist are treated as if they are part of the narcissist and are expected to live up to those expectations. In the mind of a narcissist there is no boundary between self and other.
- Celebrity Album: Interracial/Interethnic Couples (kolorblindmag.com)
- Where Are Politics’ Interracial Couples? (theroot.com)
- Did You Marry a Narcissist? (projecthappilyeverafter.com)
- Interracial Relationship Advice: What do you suggest for a 1st date? (kolorblindmag.com)
- Interracial Relationship Advice: My girlfriend’s parents keep referring to ‘black people’ as ‘you guys’… (kolorblindmag.com)
- Why Nice People Cling to Bad Boys (or Girls) (psychologytoday.com)