Meeting the parents for the 1st time


A while ago I posted a blog post about what to do when you find your KolorBlind love and meeting the parents for the 1st time. This is an interesting article I found online that discusses it in more detail:

Meeting the Parents | A Guide for Interracial Couples – By Rosel Kim

It seems that interracial dating is a popular topic to discuss in the media these days— after all, the number of interracial marriages is increasing steadily each year. Being in an interracial relationship myself, I thought I’d offer up some advice for those facing the “Meet the Parents” date soon, based on my own experience.

a) If your boyfriend is coming over to meet your parents at their house, make sure he’s wearing socks without holes.

If not, you will simultaneously feel embarrassed and amused as your father calmly says in Korean, “he has holes in his socks.” Because your father’s facial expression doesn’t change much when he says that biting piece of criticism, your boyfriend might think your father said something nice and smile unknowingly. But you know the truth. And you have to carry on knowing the awkward truth— which you cannot reveal to him until the whole meeting ordeal is actually over. Your boyfriend will then feel doubly embarrassed and mad that you didn’t tell him sooner (but when could you have told him? And what could he have done, anyway? It’s not like he carries extra socks).

b) If your boyfriend has dreadlocks, maybe stuff them into a wool hat. Even if it’s summer.

If you don’t, your mother will ask you during dinner if they’re clean. Of course she won’t ask you that in English. Then you have to get all defensive about his hygiene, and you will wonder why your partner has chosen such an alternative hairstyle and why he can’t just, I don’t know, have short hair that he can smooth over with some gel or something. That thought will inevitably make you think of all your crushes in grade 8, and reluctantly admit that you actually hate gel. But your mother is still concerned about the state of his hygiene and is convinced he has dandruff that’s falling on her shoulders and you’ll just lose your appetite.

c) If you are going out for dinner with your parents and the boyfriend for the first time, White Spot might not be the best location.

Just because your 14-year-old brother thinks that place is cool, doesn’t mean it is. And do not order one of the new dishes they offer because they make it sound vaguely tasty and adventurous— but its not. White Spot is never as good as you think it is. You inevitably wax nostalgia about going there when you’re not in BC, only to confront the terrible reality of heartburn-inducing burgers full of regret every time.

— Rosel Kim is a Korea/Vancouver transplant now living in Montreal. She writes about feminism and race on her blog What Are Years?

I hope the above article is helpful to you when you meet your partner’s parents. Meeting them for the first time can be nerve racking but it’s unavoidable. Good luck.



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